Forgiving Myself

Woo Chile!! 🥴 Read that until you understand the importance of self forgiveness. Have you ever been pulled to the carpet? Meaning, has anyone ever told you about yourself? I mean, TOLD YOU! TOLD YOU! Not just about yourself, but told you how much pain you inflict on yourself? I definitely have  and woo chillleee! It made me sit down with myself and apologize. Like, REALLY APOLOGIZE!  Not the type of apology that makes excuses and justifications for the neglect, inconsideration & blatant, sometimes subtle disrespect. The type of apology that began with a heartfelt “Please forgive me. I’ve wronged you by becoming the hurt person who hurt HERSELF”. Let that sink in. 

Who I was

Those of you who know me personally can attest to me always helping others put on their oxygen mask while blindly depriving myself of the same air I so desperately wanted others to have. I was, the “give my shirt off my back” type of person. The, I have to work but I’ll interrupt my coin to help you, person. Now, hear me out. It’s okay to help others WHEN YOU CAN but it is NOT OKAY to cultivate a toxic relationship with (physically) nor within (mentally & emotionally) yourself. Can you believe I didn’t realize the person who needed me most was ME!?!  YES! I didn’t know I truly needed me just as “urgently” & conveniently as everyone else needed me. Not taking care of yourself first or even at all is unhealthy mentally, emotionally, physically, & spiritually. This was my case and why I needed self forgiveness. 

The ah ha moment. 

I remember as I was being read, my inner me screamed  “HELLOOO! WAKE UP CHETNEY! YOU MATTER!”. In that moment I knew it was time for me to take my own advice; remove & free yourself from the shackles you’ve placed on you. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “if you don’t love yourself nobody else will”. That saying impacts you differently when you open your eyes one day and realize all your life you’ve lacked some, if not all, forms of self love....WOAH! 

A word of advice

Nothing in this life comes easy, however do not be discouraged. Experiences are needed for our own self development. Most importantly, the challenge of working on yourself for the betterment of yourself should never be put on the back burner. YOU MATTER! We all deserve love and the most purest form begins within. Be kind to yourself. Make time for yourself. Humbly separate yourself from the places, people and things that will trigger you to continue on a toxic path. Remember not every battle is yours. You do not have to be the rescue crew for everyone who confronts you with their problems. The battles that belong to you, give them to God. And lastly, forgive yourself for the things you have done consciously and unconsciously. You owe you that much. Blessings Kings & Queens.

Thy Humble Hustler

- C. Stone